Crotchety Old Man Rambles Angrily

I'm still trying to make sense of this bizzarre, rambling "attack" against Barack Obama by John McCain today.  I'm going to do the blogger thing of parsing the various rambles:

Barack Obama has displayed some impressive qualities...But the question is whether this is a man who has what it takes to protect America from Osama bin Laden, al Qaeda, and other grave threats in the world. And he has given you no reason to answer in the affirmative.”

Has he given me any reason to answer in the negative? I love this kind of rhetoric.  It's like the guy who disclaims "with all due respect" before implying that you are a necrophiliac.

“We're going to pull through these hard times -- and do it together, just as our country has done before...But when that day arrives, and the worries of financial crisis have fallen away, we will find awaiting our country all of the same great challenges and dangers that were there all along. They mattered before the economic turmoil of the present. They will matter still when it has passed. And in a time of war, at a moment of danger for our country and the world, let it not be said of us that we lost sight of these challenges.”

Yes, let it not be said.  Because it would be fucking idiotic to suggest that choosing one candidate over another in a presidential election is somehow acting in bad faith as regards the future of the nation.

“With terrorists still plotting new strikes across the world, millions of innocent lives are still at stake, including American lives...Our enemies' violent ambitions must still be prevented -- by American vigilance, by diplomacy and cooperation with our partners, and by force of arms as a last resort.”

A vote for Barack Obama is apparently a vote for bloodthirsty terrorists to come into your house late at night and rape your dog.  You don't want to vote for raping your dog, do you?  STOP BEING UNAFRAID OF THE WORLD!!!

“In each case, Senator Obama presents his plan for direct talks as if no one before had ever considered that...He seems unaware that more talk has been tried many times to no avail and that our adversaries recognize such gestures as a sign of weakness.

Talking about problems is such a pussy move.  That's why when I have to deal with a difficult student, I don't talk to them until after I have punched them in the gonads.

“We're getting only a glimpse of what one-party rule would look like under Obama, Pelosi, and Reid...Apparently it starts with lowering our defenses and raising our taxes.”

Yeah, I think we can all agree that cutting defense spending is a huge mistake.  Now, if someone would please inform that old guy who was rambling on incessantly during the debates about the virtues of cutting defense spending...I believe there was some mention of using a "hatchet" instead of a "scalpel."

How much more disgusting can John McCain get by next Tuesday?  Rest assured that we will pause to make snarky comments about it, if/when it happens.