Robot Monkey Cyborgs Will Destroy Us All!!!

Enter the Monkey Matrix Strange news out of the University of Pittsburgh, where a team of scientists have successfully allowed a monkey to control a robotic arm using only its mind.

I don't want to sound alarmist, but certainly cracking open a monkey's skull, sticking in some electrodes and hooking it up to a robotic arm so it can feed itself has to engender a little simian resentment. I mean, I just hope they use a different monkey for the mind-controlled, robotic ray gun experiment.

For those readers who don't stay current on monkey-mind control news, I'd just like to point out that none of this is anything new. Robo-Monkey 2005 must be totally pissed by version 2.0. Somebody get that primate a ray gun!